i know that i won't care that i didn't sleep and that i can see the cat eating my breakfast
i know that i just stared at the running water in the sink for a whole 3 minutes instead of doing the dishes
i know i'm not using any punctuation or capitalization
so unlike me
maybe not. maybe i was doing all that because i was forcing myself to... fitting the round peg in the square hole... that whole bit
i could drown in my tears if i wanted to, course, i'm not going to cry.
instead i'll let sighs escape me, long drawn out exasperated sighs
not trying takes a lot of hard work and dedication.
there's no real reason as to why i feel the way do. i could easily just let it pass, as usual. but then, that's what i've been doing all along. and it's only lead to this. bigger sighs. because i wanted to prove everyone wrong. including myself. maybe it's time i listen to my gut reaction.
run.
run away.
and never look back.
question is: is that what i really want?
doesn't feel right, but everything else doesn't either. i will tell you this. of all the relationships i have had in my life, this one is the hardest, most complicated, most high maintenance one i've been in. today, as i sit here and type this, when i know for sure there are a billion other things i should definitely be doing, i just don't know where to go with it. i'm gonna have to back burner it. i'm off to get some of that other shit done and whatever.
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