BECCAH... You'll appreciate this :)

Remember Grenke?

Oh well hopefully she quit because she was an asshole
anyways... so she lived downstairs from me and she would constantly come knock (like the freaking po-lice!) about us making noise (like 4x a week...) anyways so second semester roomate (other one was russian and was mean to us) and I wanted to make tortillas, well we needed a rolling pin

Rolling pins are about a million dollars, well the nice ones that make tortillas right, so next best thing... a wooden dowel 2 1/2 inches and like a dollar at Walmart
except for the darn things are a million miles long... okay 3 feet long... soooo won't work for my limited counter space so I say alright we need to break this bitch also we are pretty weak and can't manage to break the thing... eventually (this gets pretty ridiculous) we go downstairs and take a swing at a big ass tree to break it, well that works but we have a giant splinter still on there... so I'm like yeah we can totally cut that off with scissors
except for guess what, no scissors anywhere... so I was like I know lets use a knife

cue the butcher knife
okay so I am sitting there trying to cut this friggin splinter off and I was like I'm tired, I know lets use a hammer.... so I hammer the knife (I might've been drunk) and the thing gets stuck

cue Grenke

She starts pounding on my door the minute I decide to pull the knife out, knife is stuck at a weird angle so i pull it out, only it keeps going to where I was holding the dowel... Oh yeah my thumb was there So I filet my thumb right under my fingernail needing not 3

 not 5

 but 7 stitches

Oh yeah, almost forgot, I waited in the ER for 6 hours with my roommate and I bled in her car... Also her Eiffel tower towel was ruined... because I tend to bleed alot

The end.

Wait, P.S I love you Beccah you were a kickass roomie don't hate me for this picture ^_^