When everything else is gone

You know who's quick at bailing on people as soon as shit gets uncomfortable? Everyone. Because lazyness overcomes the reason why pride should be set aside. Just like when you let something gather dust and instead of cleaning it, you end up throwing out a perfectly good something.

It's always easier to tell people, "Oh you deserve better than that," and "I told you so." Habit makes me get defensive. Habit and the fact that just because a relationship end, doesn't mean the feelings aren't there. I know I'm wrong, that's why I'm defensive. Also, seriously make the cliché's go away. They drive me nuts. I know I use them too, but you guys need to start being original. Or I will not accept your advice.

Why is it that it's always the same person that I need to ask advice about, but I can't talk to him about it? Because, remember last night? That's why. Because it's a you get what you see kind of deal. That's usually what it's like. Friends with benefits. Who's benefits exactly? But what if it's not just like that. It's being in a relationship without the title. Again, no benefits.

Anyways, not my main topic here. What am I going to do? The usual. Forgive, wait a few weeks, get hurt or rejected or set aside (combine or optional), get angry, repeat. 200 calories, serves one. Because I go against the flow. I don't want to be that everyone. That part that gives up too easily, I just don't do that. Only when it is out of my hands, do I ever let it go. I try not to waste relationships, we all know I have very few. Each day it feels like the population in my world is less and less. Maybe it's my turn to do nothing. I'm always so against letting something go to waste. I will fight tooth and nail till the end. Maybe I'm the only one. Maybe that's the end.

Do I forgive you? In a heartbeat. Usually. But like I said. I'm tired. I'm tired of all the hard work it takes, and it feels like I'm the only one making an effort. Because I am constantly chasing you. Begging you. And it fucking sucks.

We both know who has it easier to move on. I don't blame you for anything, nor am I asking you to take responsibility for anything. I just want to make you aware of it. Point it out, highlight it, mark it in bold. So you try not to do it again.As for me, I'm done making an effort. No more chasing for me. No more One More Nights, or Addicted's, or any other songs. I'll continue being an agoraphobic. Stay in the confines of my little world.



Said me during wishful thinking.