So in case you haven't noticed, I happen to be a huge Papa Roach fan. It kinda hit me today, I was listening to them on Pandora, and we all know their famous song Scars. Anywhoo, the part that kind of jolted me upright was the part where lead singer Jacoby says, Go fix yourself. and the following lyrics:
I can't help you fix yourself, but at least I can say I tried, I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life.
For the longest time I sat perplexed. Duh. I do need to fix myself and stop dumping everything on everybody. And I realized it all the more today. I am exhausting to deal with, even I know that. It feels to me that I am exhausting my friends. And I want to apologize for that. Because instead of just drowning them in my problems, I should at least TRY to work on them. Not just dump them on someone, throw a tantrum because they aren't telling me what I want to hear and then pretend like no one is helping me. Geez, I feel like an ass. I am sorry.
Where do I start? Where ever I can I guess. I think it's time for me to go solo for a bit. Not that I don't want you guys around, but I feel like I only rain on your parade. I'm sorry I haven't been able to be happy for your accomplishments, been there for your losses. I act all selfish with my "What about me?" attitude. What about me. I have turned into a pain in the ass. The kind that isn't even fun to be friends with anymore. Well, if you'll let me I'll try to make amends. My problem is no excuse, I have been a shitty friend. Again, I'm sorry.
Love, Me.
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