Friends

There is no such thing as a real friend. People will only stick around long enough to get something out of you. Something my uncle used to say. Something my sister used as her mantra. Something I learned today.

And all the while I really didn't want to believe them. I'm a dreamer, like my dad. I want to believe in people's good. Well, that's what makes me such an idiot. And an easy target. I am so trusting, so naive, so stupid. Every time, I tell myself no more... and here I am again. So, I am officially friendless, jobless, and car-less. Cool. Because that shit makes life easier right? No, I'm not blaming you for anything other than the shitty, spineless, asshole way you decided to go about letting me know: I'M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. Oh wait, I forgot all about the first time you said that. Remember, that giant FUCK YOU, you gave me? Yeah the one I chose to forgive. Oh, what's that? There's a friendship that's stronger than all others. Thanks, yeah that just about summed everything up. I'm not worth your time, you are no longer worth my energy.

Apologies, you want to apologize, you want my forgiveness... how many times? How much more am I supposed to just let things slide? How much longer am I going to be your doormat? And all along I thought myself important. All along I was wrong. I should've just stayed away from you when I said I would.

Silly girl, you called me. Couldn't have been any more right on. That's exactly what I am, stupid. An idiot who couldn't stay away, because all along I should've known there was nothing for me in the end. You can't say I was the one who was wrong in this situation. I tried more than once to try and make this work, to try and keep our friendship afloat, even through all the times you hurt me. Because of all things you can say about me, I at least truly loved you. I have said it before: either you know and you don't care, or you are too stupid to see it. And if you knew it, shame on you.

But no, I wanted my best friend didn't I? I couldn't live without you, remember? I fought for you, even to the point where I lost part of my family, because I wanted my friend. Well family always comes back, regardless of all shitty situations. And you are just about the shittiest friend. Only, I forget all the other ones that have come and gone. Which leads back to the starting point... there is no such thing as a real friend. Way to prove a point.

As for me I'm done.